hello!!!
i kinda miss blogging even though it's been only two or so days that i didn't touch the com.but here's some news: i'm finally into my revision.kinda late considering how n level is just two weeks from now.but well,it's okay.it's just to show my mum that i'm serious about my n level results and that i DO study.
i was happy and sad yesterday.let me just say what i was happy about first.i never thought i would feel this way.i prayed all my five prayers yesterday without missing even one and boy,i felt like i've just accomplished a great thing.i don't know why i was so happy about it.before i went to sleep,the thought came to me.i prayed all five prayers.it was definitely something to be proud of.and i dreamt quite a dream too.the trip to vivo city happened all over again (in my dream) but this time we got to be up close with masi oka.i think that ali larter is very pretty too.man,shook hands and took pictures.and rudy was damn excited.natasha was screaming away happily.that was some dream.hehe.
and what i was sad about was that on sunday,my mum cooked mee pineng (whatever the spelling is) for buka.it was my favourite dish.really,i am crazy for it and crave for it each time ramadhan comes.though it's a lil on the pedas side,it's still my mum's cooking.the best.anyway,our family ate mee pineng,just my family and cik la's family.and the memories came back to me.when i was younger,about 5 or 6,back when my granddad wasn't having an affair with that stupid maid,my mum always cooked mee pineng whenever we had birthday parties or simply family gatherings.and it would be the WHOLE family.all my aunts and uncles and cousins will all come.so it was quite a memory.we would have a lot of fun back in those days.even hari raya also my mum will make mee pineng.hers is absolutely the best.the taste has never changed over the years,until now.i wish i could cook as well as her.
anyway,that memory of family gathering was kept fondly in a corner of my heart.i always long for the day when my whole family would come back together.back then,i loved my granddad.but now? i ain't so sure.he's got a new family.all of his children have their own families.and none of them are bothering to gather the whole family together again,just like the old times.my youngest and most favourite uncle has been missing for years,although i've heard that he has a family already and is in good health.that is good to hear but the thing is,i missed him alot ever since he left.but the yearning for him to come back has kind of gone down.and also there are some of my aunts and uncles who are heavily in debt.with companies or whatever and also with my mum.the one with the most debts is my so not favourite aunt.say wanna pay back but never did.liar,i hate you and will never change my attitude towards you.you don't respect the human race so you don't deserve my respect.stupid abuser!
i think that was a lil extreme but i don't care.so i'm actually sad because though some members of my family are still here,there are still some missing parts in the puzzle.and my grandpa...i hate his wife and his children too.but i still respect him.he is of course,the most senior member of the family.i keep asking myself,if that friggin' dumb stupid woman didn't enter our lives and seduced my grandpa,would life be a lot better than it is now?would my grandpa be so thin like he is now?but no matter what,he still encourages me to pursue a music career.i remember that time he said,"you,if you become piano teacher ah...your monthly salary alot you know.beribu-ribu.hidup tak susah nanti." here's what i'll say now: Insya-allah.
you`re tall boy,really
why do i realise it only now?
