my cross stitch is kinda pretty actually.i mean the back.the back part looked very organized but the front is like,big Xes.haha.i was supposed to be doing it now,it's actually beside me but i thought i'll blog for a while.
here is the BIG BIG news:

I'M BACK TO MY DAILY ROUTINE!!!!

with the f & n coursework out of the way now that i'm done with it[unless ms yong sees a problem in it] i may not find the time to blog so frequently now.i normally blogged while doing f & n but i guess that'll be no more.besides my mum would know.she's totally like my shadow,every once or twice in the hour,will come over to the com and watch me do my stuff.then she'll ask questions and all.a bit irritating,if you ask me.hah!
so here is how my daily routine used to be:

`back from school
- change
- eat
- pray zohor
- play piano
- slack
- read a book
- GLANCE at school textbooks
- pray asar
- bathe [when i feel like it]
- write story
- pray maghrib
- finish up homework
- lie down and think
- read book
- fall asleep [thanks to that, i always miss isya' prayer. :((]

i used to be too lazy to turn on the computer.my rule used to be no computer until friday.haha.(: but sometimes if my sis is on the com,i'll squeeze some time and check my mail.oh well,the 'n' level is coming anyway so i gotta focus.especially on physics which is now my weakest subject,next to maths.
zul decided to do the name for the cross stitching.i agreed on doing his one third of the stitching.it's fun to stitch anyway,that is,if you have music to keep you company.but i must say, my first two tries on saturday drove me crazy.it wasn't until i properly followed natasha's instructions that i managed to do it.haha.must remember to sms thiha.wonder if i should teach him as well.what if he does it wrongly? laki-laki memang tak boleh harap.hahahaha. (:

OH CRAP! TOMORROW MEETING THE VP!

i wanna curse her.i wanna swear at her as much as i want.but i can't.
i've lost whatever respect i ever had on her.
i don't know why she had to pick on us and yell at us.
so what if we didn't finish the coursework?
next week is the deadline,for god's sake!
i don't want to dwell on it.i don't even wanna think about it.
all i want is not to see her stupid face tomorrow
or hear her stupid voice
i just don't wanna have anything more to do with her

look at that ! they're holding hands !

mystery guy

just finished watching the hindi movie 'chup chup ke'.the actor kind of cute.whats his name?shahid kappoor? he really can act in comedy movies.but this movie is like,half comedy and half emotional.wait,i found the movie review:

The film opens to Jeet (Shahid Kapur), a young aspiring business minded lad being chased by a few elderly men as he has pretty much borrowed money from every one in his village except for the dogs maybe. But alas the total dough of 13.90 lacs that he borrowed over the years went kaput with all his ventures and now his only option is to kill himself and pay with his life so his insurance policy can pay for the rest. So poor Jeet jumps into the sea leaving his old parents (Anupam Kher and Amita Nangia) and ex-girlfriend Pooja (Sushama Reddy) behind and sails all the way to Calcutta where he is fished out by fisherman Bandeya (Rajpal Yadav), who brings him to his even fishier boss Gundeya (Paresh Rawal).

The two save his life in lieu of them being paid a few lacs by him once he recovers as they mistake him to be one that people owe money to instead of the other way round. Jeet, on recovering, pretends to be deaf and mute and along with Bandeya and Gundeya ends up at the doorstep of Prabhat Singh Chauhan (Om Puri) in Gujarat, as Gundeya owes him almost three lac rupees and hence leaves Jeet and Bundeya with him till he returns the moolah. The inevitable happens when sweet Shruti (Kareena Kapoor), who cannot speak, falls in love with Jeet and he too reciprocates in return. Over possessive brother Mangal (Sunil Shetty) however, supports the two but is yet not aware that Jeet can speak and is putting up a farce. Things go haywire when the truth comes out. They get even worse once Jeet's family learns that he is very much alive and kicking. The film comes to a climax where Jeet has to choose between the woman he loves or the woman he feels obliged to who has been living as his widower thinking him to be dead.

so that's it.the movie starred shahid kapoor[that cute guy],kareena kapoor[she's so pretty],sunil shetty[i like his lips.kinda like mr.chong's.] and some others.but the three that i named are like,the main characters ah.man,it was hilarious in the first part.i want to find the dvd if there is man.i didn't manage to catch the beginning of the movie.but well,it's always like that.

P.S I still have that craving. And I really don't know why. I'm even thinking now that he's one big jerk. But why can't I forget him?

a disastrous morning and an unforgettable evening

disastrous morning:

i know how it feels now if you were to lose your eyesight.because i went through it just this morning.i was so ready to start the day,because everyone were wearing their ethnic costunes.not all,but most.so it's like,i was looking forward to what the teachers were gonna wear.mr yap looked smart though.i guess the whole school were excited because of the colourful clothes everywhere.principal sort of got angry with us.gave a speech and all.and we had to stand through it for like,15 minutes or so.i was like,tired.my stomach was squeezing and i don't know why.my legs were also aching.during the national anthem,i couldn't stop moving.i was like half in pain. then during the pledge my vision kind of blurred,then it darkened.i couldn't see anything.then i heard mdm fazilah said that we have to stand through the racial harmony day message.i was like,oh man.i couldn't see! i turned around to natasha and kind of reached for her.i told her that i couldn't see.then she said,'can you see this?can you see this?' and i was like,'i cannot see!!!' i was totally panicking. my vision was a total blur.and i was at a loss of what to do.i just kept saying that i couldn't see.i don't think i was being dramatic because it was a very frightening encounter.i heard mrs chee say whats wrong and all.then natasha explained to her,i think.my mind went all blank.i was really scared and i was crying,because i could feel my tears coming down.i was thinking what i was gonna do with my life if i can't see.mrs chee and natasha kinda pulled me to i don't know where.there was a step or something and they told me to step over.but i slammed my foot over whatever it was.they guided me to a bench and told me to sit down.by then the blurness was slowly fading and i could see mrs chee a little.i tried blinking my eyes.mr chong was there,marking something.mrs chee gave me a piece of tissue to wipe my tears and blow my nose.then she and mr chong asked me questions.i DID have my breakfast.two pieces of bread with kaya and a cup of water.i just suddenly got giddy during assembly.i was so happy when i regained my vision.mrs chee told me to sit at the benches along the corridor in case i got giddy again on the parade square grounds.emily asked if i was okay and all.mrs diana passed by during the speech to ask if i was okay.i said i was.then mdm riah sat beside me and asked why i was sitting there.so i told her ah that i had a 'momentary blindness'.she told me that i would be okay and not to worry.then miss norul sat beside me and asked if i was okay.i almost cried in front of her because i was still shaken by the experience.she was the only teacher i felt most comfortable around,besides miss chiam and mdm riah.i told her what happened with my eyes and she told me that the same thing happened to her during her cca time.i felt comforted that the she had the same experience once.but i was still terrified.what if it happened again?this had never happened before.when i told my mum,she said maybe i was stressed.i'm thinking now,maybe i am.my maid said i should bersyukur that i still could see.she told me it was a warning to me by Allah S.W.T.maybe i had done something wrong and He was trying to warn me.she said that since i got my vision back,it meant that Allah still loved me.she told me to ask myself: what if Allah completely took away my vision? what if i could no longer see my parents again or see my siblings amd my friends ever again? what if i could never see the world ever again if Allah didn't love me anymore? she advised me to take care of my eyes and watch what i'm looking at.the former is of course,what i'm going to do from now on: wear specs and do the eye exercise ,that i learnt in park view, everyday. the latter, i'm not sure what she means.my mum told me the same thing to.that it served as a warning to me.

unforgettable evening:

botak had a party at elias green.it was the best birthday party i had ever been to.and it was the first time i saw the guys half-naked,swimming in the pool.same with natasha.i won't drag with the details of the first part of the afternoon: walk around and natasha showed me around,the pond,the river,the frog island.it had been where her childhood started.she showed me where she lived and where she fell into and where hanes fell.sounded like a very fun childhood.we circled around the pool and botak and the guys threw this cute,small water balloon at us.after that, waded in the children's pool for a while.then sat around and watched the guys play in the pool.somewhere near late afternoon,i succeeded in pushing danial in the pool.hah! and he took revenge by spraying water at natasha and me.then we ate and played playground.well,not playground.played see-saw.took pictures,which were very nice.natasha tried pushing danial into the pool but couldn't.i almost got pushed in the pool by natasha and danial,at different times of course.then natasha tricked me and said that she saw my 'ex'.i panicked because he lived there.then she laughed.very funny.her 'ex' was also there.haha.so we're quits.haha.i pushed danial in the pool again.he took revenge by pouring icy cold water at me.i dunno what happened after that.i think natasha and me sat by the pool,just chatting.then we took revenge and poured water at danial.actually i started first.he didn't do anything though.natasha and me were at the see-saw when danial attacked.i am ALWAYS caught offguard,when i'm not aware of the things happening around me.natasha saw cus he was coming from behind me.i was attacked then she sprayed water at his face,to avenge me i think or maybe to have some fun.i chased after him and threw my bottle of water at him.now that i come to think of it,we wasted alot of water.haha.there was a commotion though around evening.the 'fish' caught of the day who is actually yin han.very cute lor the guys carried him.i was watching them when someone poured really icy cold water down my back.and it made my whole shirt at the back wet and part of my jeans.natasha got some i think.god.it was danial again.after that,jiahao and myron biked into the children's pool.kinda cool but lucky got no guards around.anyway,overall,the party was fun.but the thing is,i don't know why some people thought i like danial.sure,i chase after him to get my revenge but that didn't mean i like him,even if we went home together.tuh!lemme get this straight: danial can be nice but i don't like him as in that kind of way.no thank you.

P.S I've suddenly got the craving of listening to Thiha play 'Far Away' on his guitar.I dunno why.Just had that craving when I was walking home.

crap, my fingers are aching with all that typing.stupid f & n !!
gawd.doing the research.but i'm not sure if i passing up the file tomorrow.
but i just scared miss yong would scream my name in fromt of the whole school during assembly tomorrow.
siao woman.that time raise her voice at me.gawd,and the NTs were staring at me.
stupid sia.stress now.
aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!

do take the friends test thingy.

Create your own Friend Test here

i wonder how i'm gonna make movies again.the windows movie maker is BORING.and i have to make the styles and whatever myself.it's lika, damn.i can't make movies as good as last time,i mean, last year.gawd.how could i have been so STUPID to BELIEVE the stupid DV Producer thing?! man, i asked for it.but i do NOT deserve it.
i checked out the website of the muvee autoproducer.they had new models of the software,means like new ones that are even more convenient and easier to use.there's even one for handphones so you can make movies on the move.it's like COOL!!!
BUT,the thing is the stupid dumb price.the latest one, which is called 'muvee autoProducer 6',is US$129.95.if it's singapore currency,it's $20 or so MORE,which is close to S$150 there.that latest one has a motto though: more control.more you.i'm like so utterly jealous with those who live in the US.they're able to purchase the software so easily.
the cheapest one they have is US$49.95.but it's for the younger ones and for 'those who prefer a feature-light tool for quickly creating videos and slideshows to music'.it sounds quite okay but i still prefer the advanced one.i want to explore more.
but what i don't understand is the fact that one of the company branches or whatever is in SINGAPORE!!! if that is so,why doesn't challenger have any of the muvee autoProducer products??!! i'm not acting drama here or whatever PEOPLE might think but i just dont understand why.
i've been talking about video-editing softwares lately,you people reading this must be bored.haha.

if possible, i dedicate this to natasha
in a friendship for four years way
not the lovey dovey way of course
cheer up, nat!

Gone So Young - Amber Pacific

I never dreamt it'd be this way
I've lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you, say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I'm okay

I wasn't prepared for what's to come
A life made of memories gone so young
And now I'm regretting all I've done
But in your heart know that I'm with you all along

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight

I never thought that this could go
And take me away from all I know
And leave me to think I'm on my own
But your love will take me, you were the one...

...Who sat through nights
You held me tight
And made sure I'm okay
And I thank you for the love you gave to me

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight...

Tonight...

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
And if I should fall, I know you're waiting
And if I should call, I know you're there
If ever you cry just know
I'm in your heart tonight...
I'm in your heart tonight...

speaking of memories
this song kinda fitted the moment
haha
this song kinds of has alot of meaning
though its a bit of a fast song
i like it
though it's not true,for my part.

i was watching the first movie i ever did and i was suddenly reminded of the software.i accidentally deleted the muvee autoproducer thingy last year because i wanted to upgrade it with the dvd version,hoping that i could put more than 50 photos in one movie.but unfortunately,this dumb computer kept saying that there are still traces of the previous software even though i already uninstall it!and i found out that the muvee producer thing,one of the "muvee technologies pte ltd" is in singapore.its at 133 middle road.[where the hell is that?]level 4 BOC plaza.singapore 188974.i'm thinking of checking it out.but why doesn't challenger have any of the products?
but still,i lost the software forever.i found out that the muvee autoproducer is installed in any hp computers and compaq.i was like...aiyah.i'll have to buy a new com to get that software to make new movies.i really liked the muvee producer thing.it was totally awesome.i made the best movies i ever made,just with three easy steps: choose and add pictures, add a song or two and then choose a style.it's automatic.they just make the movie for you and you just watch!
so the first movie i made was about the 1st June 2006;zoo & orchard trip.the song i chose was far away by nickelback.the pictures i chose fit the style AND the song.and the scenes...everytime i watched the video,which is lots of times,i will be on the verge of tears.the song's a little sad,which in my opinion fits the whole set of pictures,but still,the first video i made!i was proudest of this particular video though.it held a lot of memories for me.[there!i'm watching it again.]the video was,of course,the best video i ever made.probably because it was the first.gawd,i'm repeating myself.but well,i love it the best.its so sad...yet it held many happy memories.it was the best day of my life,going out with my teacher and fellow club members and the person i liked.
but everytime i watch the video,my heart will just make this painful squeeze or something.yes,he was there that day.his very presence made me feel very happy.i felt very happy that day,too happy just to be close to him and to feel him there.everytime i watched the video,i remember that day very clearly,every tiny detail and everything that happened.the sad thing is,every group photo at the zoo felt and looked very incomplete because HE wasn't there.the whole time he wasn't there with us,i missed him.and when we met up with him before we went for dinner,my heart just made this skip at the sight of him.i was over the moon when i set eyes on him.yes,indeed,i remember every feeling i felt that day.
THAT day happened a whole YEAR ago.but i remember it like it just happened yesterday.and like i said,last year was the best year for me.not as exciting as the p.6 year but it was just better than that.a lot more excitement.
i don't know why but i haven't forgotten him.not completely.i still feel sad when i see him.i don't know why.i don't have feelings for him but i just feel really sad.maybe sad because of my decision to forget him.but that was a long time ago.now,i realised i really do miss him.and i miss him alot and those days too.thats why the video of 1st June triggered my past feelings for him,i think.i don't think i still have feelings for him,but maybe he was the best guy i've ever fallen in love with.even if he may act like a jerk sometimes.well,he was a jerk at times.i was too blinded by love to see through him.
i can't say i love him.i just can say that i miss him.and the times i was with him.before he knew my feelings for him and after he knew.



this is my pride and joy.wish i could add this in the book of the year.sadly,i can't.i think i'll make a movie for myself and add this in it.as a memory of 2006.i won't add her though.the other one who i'm very disappointed with.

my primary school best friend called earlier this evening.it came as a surprise to me as she had not contacted me for a pretty long,long time.so when my mum told me it was farisha,i was thinking like,huh?why would she call?after losing contact for a few years?
it seemed like she just wanted to ask how i was.she sounded very cute though.i mean her voice.just like she used to sound.only now,cuter.my voice sounds like a guy when i'm bored.actually when i picked up the phone,i was irritated because she called at the wrong time;i was about to pray Asar.but anyway we chatted for like 5 to 10 minutes.then she asked if my mum was still selling kuih.i said ya,why?want to order? then she said her mum wanted to order.so our mums talked and i went to pray.that's it.used-to-be best friends drifted far away.she has her life now,i have my own life.she has changed,i think so have i,but in a few ways only.i don't know if i look the same as i do in primary school;a grade-A class NERD.really...
anyway,i don't know.i don't want to go back to the past.it has too many happy and sad and scary memories.but i must say that the primary six year was the most exciting year for me.i don't know about imah and the rest...i mean the soccer gang.oh crap,now i've reminded myself of it.erase erase erase.
my mum was so unreasonable!!!she insisted yesterday that i return the harry potter and the order of the phoenix book back to natasha.i'm like,i friggin' haven't read the friggin' book!she said i'm too obsessed with the harry potter books now that the new movie is coming up and also because i read too much she scared i won't concentrate on my studies and N level,seeing how thick the book is...i tried reasoning that i hadn't read the book yet.i only read the sorcerer's stone,prisoner of azkaban,goblet of fire and half-blood prince.she said that that was more than enough.i told her to understand the whole story is to follow the firggin' series.she said...'ok.your birthday i buy the book.promise.'so i said ok.sounded like a better deal.i can buy chamber of secrets myself.so must wait.
now that i come to think of it,i don't feel like buying the tsubasa chronicle posters at all.but i scared that yoshi-yoshi guy will give me bad buyer rating since i kinda gave him high hopes that i was gonna buy all the posters.my mum didn't allow me to buy all.so i thought maybe i just buy the posters that has my favourite characters! syaoran and sakura!!
i miss those cca days.last year has gotta be the best year i've had with my cca.sec.2 was more like BORING,even though i liked that mr.shortyboy.yep,last year was the best,indeed.i bonded more with the sec.3 gang and i was more active during the year than during sec.2.and also last year was the most exciting ever since i invented that 'the chairman & vice-chairman story' title.haha.i think natasha will get it,if she recalls what i write in my story.but last year was also a little painful.the heartbreaks and obvious rejections.aaawwwhh...i can't erase the memories of last year from my mind or my heart,i even have videos of last year.i really will do that year book natasha and me planned for.yes.yes.yes.book of the year.i call it,'fazlun`s memoirs'haha.not really.

i've been thinking,for the past one week while i was sick,what the true meaning of friendship is.because some people don't know what friends really mean.they think friends are just people you like and then when you find them irritating already,you dump them and kick them away.that is not friendship.

True friends are for life
Until the end
They're more than special
They're your bestest friends.

They're the ones you can go to
When you're in despair
The ones that'll help you
Even when you got gum in your hair!

They're the ones who'll laugh
And go laughing with you all through the night
The ones who'll help you
Help you with all their might


i cherished my friends a lot.they're not many,but they meant alot to me.but now they're gone.and i'm kinda alone now.but its ok.i don't mind.because i still have one more friend.He's in my heart.and He will always be there.

A best friend
is always there,
whether you need advice,
or a pep talk,
or even a shoulder to cry on.

A best friend
listens with her heart
and is always honest with you,
even though the truth
may not be what you want to hear.

A best friend
knows all your secrets,
understands your fears
shares your dreams.

A best friend
never stops believing in you
even if you give up on yourself.
you are that kind of friend to me.

And no matter what happens,
you always will be.
You are my best friend....
my forever friend.


she was my best friend.i trusted her so much.i believed in her.i saw things in her people never saw.she will still be my best friend,but i will never forget what she did,brainwashed or not,i doubt i can ever forgive her.but she still will be my best friend.i will never forget her or the good and bad times we shared.

watch this.it's truly amazing how fast a gazelle can run.probably faster than a cheetah.the lions are super-cute.

i can't believe my luck.
yesterday afternoon,i fell off my bike.
TWICE !!!
but that's because i was carrying 2 kids with me on my bike.
the first time we fell,it was partly my fault.i didn't look where i was going and went over the pavement onto the grass.my leg got stuck under the bike and i kinda scraped me elbow.but no scratches whatsoever.but ari kena.his leg had a tiny scratch and was bleeding.we didn't notice until we were at the pasir ris park playground.we were on that stack of bouncy mats and i was below ari.then i saw his bleeding wound.a kind lady gave me a plaster for him.alhamdulillah.
anyway,i quickly ran ari to the nearest toilet.halfway there,we got chased by a dog.ari got freaked out and ran faster than me.i was like,panicking.haha.but the dog's owner managed to control the dog.the dog wasn't even cute.fierce dude.haha.
in the toilet,i washed ari's wound.he's a strong boy,he is.it wasn't even painful for him.he didn't even cry.in fact,he looked calm,really calm.i admire the boy.put the plaster on then went back to the playground.we had a 'pirates of the carribean 3' war.ari and fatimah were in my team.my sis took ali and zahir.we kinda fought on the bridge,with all those people watching.it was fun though.hahs.
i let the kids play for another 45 minutes or so or lesser,i think,then we set for home.halfway near the sungai api-api,i fell again.this time my leg got stuck in the middle of the wheel and the bike.it was freaking painful.i screamed at ari and fatimah to get off.but my leg still got stuck.nobody offered to help to get my leg out.but i managed to do it myself.i cried after that though there wasn't any scar.so we made the kids run while i tumpang zahir.he was out of breath and i scared he kena semput.
i was exhausted by the time we reached home.bathed for half an hour,i think.my whole body was aching.then i went in my room and wrote the story for a while.and i suddenly fell asleep.
hahs.