it`s shuyi`s birthday today!!!!!!!
i didn`t managed to give her the midnight message that i planned.
but i gave her a call.talk talk talk.
then i played happy birthday song on piano for her.
she told me she could hardly hear.so i played a recorded one.
talk talk talk.she sounded happy.actually, quite happy.
i don`t know what to say now.
i`m just figuring out how to do the f&n coursework.what`s matrix?
aaaaaaaahhh craaaaaaaazy.

siao.
exams start next week.stress...!!!
can go crazy lah.still need to do f&n coursework.
crazy lah.i hope i`ll do well in maths.
please let me do well in maths,god!!!!!!
i may hate it but i want to pass.
!!!
well,so today nfs had a sort-of remedial lesson with miss norul.
we asked her questions we didn`t dare ask during maths period.
so everything came out.serious bussiness there but still we joked
around.and i actually bought two foolscap paper today.TWO okay.
waste of money.but i can use the first one for school,the tweety bird
one for story.so much better.but then again,i`m not gonna get started on
the story till exams are over.too stressed to write.stressing about english
also.if i fail,i am so in deep shit.deep deep shit.i have to pass english.
it`s always been my favourite subject.but i still can`t blame fong ting.
after all she tried her best.i can only blame myself for not trying my best.

today so crazy sia.so tired!!!!!!
alright.i slept late last night cus i wanted to send natasha a midnight birthday message.boy oh boy.while waiting for midnight,i did something to natasha's
presents.had so much fun with the little cuties.haha.well actually,i was just
making a video with them.for fun.haha.
i woke up at 8 this morning.get ready get ready...then go to pasir ris mrt to
go to tampines to meet shuyi.we were going to suntec city to buy natasha`s
birthday presents.met shuyi then she told me she got not enough money.cus
her manager haven`t transfer her pay to her account.so saaaaaaaaaad waliao.
but we decided to just go to suntec and see what happens.
for the whole trip to city hall...siao must stand all the way.waliao.die man.
that was just the beginning, okay? when we reached,we had to walk this looong,
looong distance to the suntec tower 3,4 there lah,only to find that the shops
we wanted to go to were closed.and it was already ten plus.so we decided to
have breakfast.we had KFC for breakfast !!!! then call natasha to ask her
about which corpse bride she have.
after breakfast,went back.then waited for the shops to open.there were three shops.
THREE shops okay!!! and they were not near each other okay.we have to walk
a few km just to reach a shop.but it was worth it.even though we got confused
of which to buy:corpse bride or nightmare before christmas.
we compared prices between the three shops:Simply Toys, Toy Room & PopcornPop.
wee.the guy who attended to us at the popcornpop was very cute and funny.
he joke around.hehe.cute!!
anyway,back to business.we managed to buy three corpse bride stuff.then
went to tampines.go shuyi house to pick up some money.then go tampines mall
to buy wrapping paper.but they won`t wrap for us!!! idiot lah they all.stupid.
we ended up having to wrap the last two presents ourselves.because the first
two corpse bride presents were wrapped at one of the gift shops at citylink.
wrapping paper was sheep!!(natasha was so happy!!haha)we ended up having
to wrap the last two pressies ourselves and boy,did we have a hard time.
that`s why we were late for the party.well..the party was fun.the cake was
a sheep!!hais...natasha really crazy for sheep.hehes.
i stop here lah.very tired.then early in the morning must wake up for sahur.

TO NATASHA:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
MAY YOU ALWAYS BE HAPPY ON THIS BIRTHDAY
AND THE NEXT
AND THE NEXT
AND THE NEXT.
(I CRAP LAH.BUT HOPEFULLY,YOU UNDERSTAND.)

tomorrow's natasha's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm kinda panicky about natasha's present.i've never bought a present
for anybody on the last minute.but my dad agreed to send me and shuyi
to SUNTEC CITY to buy natasha's present.man,i totally love him!!
so presents...settled.
well today,me and shuyi kept on arguing whether to go suntec today
or tomorrow.besides,shuyi today got work so for natasha's sake,she
would skip to buy the present.fight fight fight,argue argue argue.
in the end, shuyi decided to go to work and we shall go suntec tomorrow.
i loaned a camera from miss chiam today.weehee.
sunday is the first day of bulan ramadhan.damn, i'm so excited.
please please please.i don't want to get my 'thing' on sunday.
don't make me get it on sunday.please god...i want to enjoy my fast
with everybody else.
today, i decided that this would be the last day that i'm gonna think
of HIM.i'm going to forget him for the time being because of the exams.
so during recess when nfs were sitting at the table somewhere near the
bookshop,i saw him walking past.i just looked at him.my eyes followed him.
the way he walked.the way he looked so serious.i kept them all in my mind.
i looked at him that way...for the last time.well,maybe for the last time.
when exams are over,i'll use all my free time to think about him,to stare at
him and do whatever i want.
i kept hoping against hope that he would suddenly like me.
but now,it was all just wishful thinking.
my life is just so sad.

well,today was so fun.besides the part that i had to go to the dentist.
that was totally horrible.blech.
anyway,chemistry we had 2 free periods because mrs grace lee didn't come.
man,the whole class was so happy.haha.
then maths also miss norul went back.another 2 free periods.
whoohoo.but then during maths,the qing wen,myron and gang were so irritating.
since we had nothing to do,me and natasha threw paper balls at WEI FAH.
WEI FAH okay.not at myrong or that qing wen.they so perasaan.
they think we throw at them then they throw back.
and when we didn't throw any balls at anybody,they throw and throw at us.
us as in natasha, shuyi and me.then natasha got all angry and so.....
all the words come out lah.but its just so irritating.we never even do
anything to them.gawd.....never seen natasha that fierce before.hahas.
(i wished i didn't look at his profile.....)

alright.
so today wasn`t as fun as yesterday.
i guess i was too tired to post yesterday.the f & n test went VERY smoothly.
cook cook cook.so syiok.natasha was abit panicky.
but even her dish was absolutely deliciously wonderful.
and so was mine.haha.
so today,nothing much.but i got the invitation card to natasha`s party.
then shuyi suddenly thought she lost her invitation card.then natasha panic.
natasha check in shuyi`s file but don`t have.
so i went ``ohooooow``.((dunno how spell))
in the end found the invitation card.in her wallet.
haha.
wee!!on sunday ramadhan starts!!can`t wait.
woohoo!!i dunno why i`m so excited for the fasting month.
normally,i would groan and say things like `i`m gonna die of starvation!`
but well,not this time.i`m actually excited.
i can`t wait.maybe because after that i`ll get $$$.
hehes.

i had a tummy upset today.
and i really don`t know why.maybe it`s something i ate.
or maybe it`s because i was fasting over the whole weekend.
natasha says it could be gastric.i say....................maybe.
anyways,i`m not so tired as i was last week.
maybe because i had enough rest over the weekend,sleeping overTIME.
hahahahas.
say,tomorrow got p.e.then got the f & n practical test.siao lah.
sure very tired.lucky got no cca.or else when i`m home,boleh pengsan lah.
hahahas.
i guess that`s all lah.my cousin`s gonna massage my back for me.cus i complain
i`m very tired these days.(and she`s just a little kid!)

it rained the whole day today. i love when it rains.
but it was so freaking cold.i was totally shivering.
man, the wind was so strong.natasha said it could blow me away.
hahas.anyway,today nothing much.
as usual,i was still so sleepy.i just don`t know why i was so sleepy
for this whole week.cannot be lack of sleep.i slept at 9.30 every night.
not counting the 15 mins of reading a book.fine,i sleep at about 10.
but hey,it should be enough what.aiyoh..i dunno whats happening to me.
so...
malay,sleepy.
maths,urm,not too sleepy.cus miss norul`s very strict about putting your head
on the table.and her voice is so loud.no offence,cher.but the louder,the better.
hahahas.
f & n.totally fun!!! we did something `illegal` but miss yong didn`t notice.
hahahas.but i can`t say what the `illegal` thing is.hahahas.learn how to do the
soya bean drink.actually soya bean very easy to make.i want to learn how to do
the beancurd.it`s always been my favourite.but i dunno how to do.hahas.
after recess...home room.that was rubbish.we didn`t do anything.
mr.yap was so sweet to help decorate his class.miss ng played a game with her class.
but my class? no way.all we did was sit,listening to mp3 or just talking.hais.
halfway through,me and natasha and another bunch of kids had to go do a survey at the com lab 3.
do do do.got 62 questions!!!so crazy man.finish.go back class.
then school ended.me and natasha went to the canteen to have lunch.
eat eat eat,drink drink drink,talk talk talk.then it rained again.
went to the foyer.damn the rain so heavy.so natasha offered me a ride home.
wee!! bless her soul.and her dad too,cus he`s the one who drove.
when i`m just out of the car,the wind blew really really hard man.
siao.my skirt fly like what.i was so afraid that i would suddenly be blown
away by the wind.serious.i`m so skinny.gaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwd.

alright.i still am very sleepy right now.
so sleeeeeeeepy.but i`m researching some stuffs.
and preparing for my new story.
even though exams are nearby already.
(but i still divide my time between studies and stories,okay?)
today supposed to have physics test...
but mr YAP never come!!!!! study for nothing sia.
but still he gave us work to do. MCQs from the TYS.
maths draw PIE chart.natasha kept dropping her stuff.
pencil lah,eraser lah,protractor lah,all kinds of stuff.
so klutz today lah she.
then when school ended,we went to put up the cca photo-taking
ordering form.then the freaking sliding door of the club board
got stuck.push push push until all my energy drained out.
some more i fasting.stupid door.make me until so tired.
then went to talk to mdm riah.chat chat about jamiyah children`s home.
how to liven up their library cus of their boring colour.
then chat about babies and children and teenagers ``these days``.
syiok.i love talking to mdm riah.
then me and natasha sit at the tables near the general office and talked
while waiting for natasha`s father(mr.yow) to come pick her up.
talk talk talk.then her father come.then she go home.i go home.
hahas.that`s all i guess.hahas.

i`m so sleepy today!!!!!
i slept specially early last night.
but i was so tired this morning.and so sleeeeepy.
during chemistry so sleepy.
during maths so sleepy.
physics so sleepy until mr yap noticed
that i was half closing my eyes.
malay also sleepy.
but halfway through malay the fire alarm rang...
so must assemble at the field.
i was just sitting on the grass when i noticed this
ants' nest or something right in front of me.
right under my nose, a colony of ants just like...
poured out of the ground.
freaked out like what.first reaction was kicking the
grass that had ants that were coming MY way.haha.
spend half an hour under the freaking SUN !!!
and fending off those ants....haha.
I`M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TIRED !!!!!

well today, was okay lahs.
i mean.p.e...we girls played soccer.
it was fun,yeah,but my right ankle suddenly very pain ahs.
i also dunno why.if i like put force on my leg,it stretch and pull.
so pain.siao.since this morning.
then cca was okaaaay.
as usual, miss chiam gave her long speech about
holistic marks,duties,CIP,CCA awards,EAGLES award,
blah blah blah.then we had to nominate for next year`s
chairman and vice-chairman.can`t say who i vote for,though.
heehees.
but then again,we`ll know who`s the new chairman and vice-chairman
next year in march when the sec.4s[which means us sec.3s] step down.
waaaaah!! i can`t bear to goooooooooo.....
i want to cry.
but anyway,i dunno why i felt so close to HIM just now.
i mean,it`s like the BIG,BIG gap that used to be between us,
was gone.i felt as if i could stand close to him,and not feel awkward.
i felt like i could shout and scream during meetings,and he wouldn`t mind.
hahas.is this what love`s supposed to feel like? besides being hurt all the time?
maybe.
but you`d never know when he would ignore me again.haaaisss.
did i say i had a BAD,BAD dream last night?
ever since natasha told me that she might be moving to australia in the
middle of next year,i began to feel uneasy.so the dream last night was
all about her.she was REALLY going to australia forever.but she didn`t
say goodbye to me and shuyi.when shuyi and me heard that she was going on
this particular day,we rushed to the airport and tried to find her.
we saw her at the passport chop-chop thingy,the departure thingy,and we
stood outside shouting her name throught the sliding doors.but she never
heard us.she just......walked away.
that particular dream has been on my mind since i stepped in school today.
but i tried to act cheerful.haaissss.

it`s back to school again!! i sound as if i`m actually happy about it.but i actually am not.it`s like the whole one week september holiday was nothing.it`s just as if it was a slack time for us.no point also holiday.still tired.oh.and good news.i finally finished my story.whoohoo!!! i did it.90 pages.totally broke the record.hahas.oh god,so tired.never felt this tired before.i mean,tired as in not doing anything.i`m just so lazy nowadays.haaaaaiss.

learnt this today:
if you want to love somebody,you have to first love yourself.

i kinda like the blogskin.rain.but it`s too plain.
anyway.it sure has been a long time since i blogged.
i was just too....lazy.
but still,i was looking around for nice blogskins.

anyway,today i woke up from a really sweet dream.
i dreamt that i was holding HIS hand,to cheer him up.
cus he was really nervous about something,i don't know what.
so i just held his hand and he looked up at me and smiled.
i smiled back.then i was kinda conscious about me holding his hand.
so i tugged my hand away.but he wouldn't let it go.
so i was like,uh oh,i tugged my hand a little harder.
he looked at me and i turned my head away.
damn i got so nervous.
then that was the end.i woke up.
and wondered about this dream.so sweet yet so...confusing.
wonder what it means.