
i just hope that me writing this story will help ease the pain i've been feeling for over a year.i hope so.now that i think about it,i wished i photocopied myself a copy of what i gave him in the file.then at least i would know what i said.cus i forgot what i said already.but i'm really,pretty sure and very certain that i crossed out the things that he shouldn't know.i hope so.i hope i didn't overlook any teeny tiny detail.but i'm sure and i trust that he wouldn't spill the beans or in the fruits basket way of saying,let the cat out of the bag.now i'm really stressed out about what i put in the file.because there is absolutely no response from him.but i gave him more than enough time to digest what's in the file.this is taking more time than i expected it would.and time is definitely not on my side.cus the terrible 'n' is less than two months away.i don't want him to just pop into my head during lessons.i'd rather have the reply(whatever his feeling is) now,cry and brood over it and get it over with though i don't think it would be easy,considering how i've been in love with him for over a year.because if i get the rejection now,at least i can concentrate better on my subjects.sure,i've been getting better and better in hiding my feelings and pretending that i'm okay.well,i'm okay now.compared to last time.i feel much more freedom.cus i'm able to do what i like.i pity those who are still being controlled.but anyway,i will still await his reply.because it is really very,very important to me that i know what he feels.it really is very important to me.well,i hate to wait.cus i'm very impatient when it comes to things like this.but i will try my very best to wait for his reply.no matter how long it takes.after n,after o.it doesn't matter.i'm still figuring out how to face him.let's hope there's no cca tomorrow. ((:
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remembering old times with you
am i really too late?