i woke up early this morning to check my phone to see if he's said anything, only to find that there was no message at all.so i gave up.i ain't gonna wait anymore. i'll give him all the time he needs,all the time he wants.he has all the time in the world to digest whatever is in the file,to swallow those words i've said about him.i don't hope for him to keep the file.because i can't force him to keep the file.he can do whatever he wants with it and i ain't gonna stop him.i just hope he understands how much i liked him,how much i tried to stop liking him and moved on to another guy,how much it hurt to try and forget him,and how happy i was when he made my feelings for him resurface.i thank him for the good times but i don't blame him for those painful ones.
it's s'pore's 42nd birthday today.happy birthday!i don't sound enthusiastic though.
watched this chinese movie in the afternoon today.i don't know what it's called but i call it,`love's an illness`.it was really nice and funny and sad,at some parts.well,you can call it a romance comedy.or is it comedy romance? either way,it's just really nice.it was about how this guy named don juan who had a girlfriend named oi ling.he loved her alot,even though she's fat.they had a date at a park.oi ling was sitting on a bench waiting for don to come.he came from behind her and kinda booed her.she was shocked and had a heart attack,and died right there.so i think he was traumatized because of the incident,thus causing him to lose his memory.a few months or weeks later,he met a girl,ding ding,who looked like his ex-girlfriend who had died.so he instantly fell in love with her.i dunno what happened after that (i had to go to the shop to buy something for my mum.her fault lah that i missed so much) but the next scene showed ding ding walking away from dr.chie,who was a dentist cum doctor.then the dr.chie was saying,'you like him but why are you angry with him?' something like that.the next scene showed ding ding at her friend's place.she had four friends actually.they were all on the laptop researching about don.it appeared that he really had amnesia.then suddenly at the window,don appeared with a cake.he said to ding ding that he loved her and it was not because she was the spitting image of his ex-girlfriend.kinda touching that he climbed a ladder to the window.haha.the story moved on with ding ding accepting him and bringing him to places that would trigger his memory of her.(i think the part i missed is when they had a relationship)there was this 'gone with the wind' poster that was their love trademark or something and then they had noodles.ding ding told don a story of how a wife and husband had one bowl of noodles a day and the wife would let the husband eat the noodles then she would drink the soup.then their conversation went on to how ding ding likes men with biker tights.then don went off to buy what he likes about girls.he came back with a maternity dress.then he explained to ding ding why he likes them in maternity dresses then suddenly....he lost his memory.dr.chie said it was short term memory loss or something.the theory was that when don feels very,very much in love,he will lose his memory of what happened.so when don woke up,he couldn't remember ding ding.despite this fact,ding ding was okay with it and still clung on to don even though don said he would forget her all over again.but she said it was okay.because he would still fall in love with her again.however,ding ding's parents found them together and pulled her away from don,saying of all men why did she choose to be with one who's got no memory.ding ding and don were separated for a few days.during this few days,having heard what ding ding parents had said,don pasted photos of ding ding all over his room and his house.on every picture he wrote,'ding ding is my lover.don't forget.'(very sweet right?) he even tattooed 'i am ding ding's lover' on his left shoulder.he wrote in a small notebook all about ding ding:her birthday and all.all this he did so that he would always remember ding ding.he managed to convinced ding ding's parents that he would never forget ding ding.so whenever don felt that 'red level' thing rising to his face,he quickly takes ice to cool down his face(he carried an ice cooler everywhere he goes with ding ding).this kept him in love with ding ding.don owned a bakery.ding ding was baking some cookies one night.don was at the cashier counting money.when ding ding was done with her cookies(jasmine cookies),she let don taste them.but then her mum called and said that she was outside the bakery.ding ding went to greet her parents,leaving don to feed himself.when don ate one cookie,he lost his memory(no ice).when he woke up a few minutes later,he saw the cash register open and thought that there was a robbery because ding ding and her parents' voice can be heard.so he took a broom and banged their faces when they entered.the next scene showed don explaining that he 'could feel the ding ding's love in the cookies flowing through' him so he was like,overwhelmed,i think.after that scene showed don and ding ding celebrating ding ding's 21st birthday at a beautiful remote place.but it rained.so they quickly went in some kind of cave.ding ding was afraid that don would catch a cold.don took out some tissues and they wiped each other's faces.there was a black out after that.[i'm getting tired of typing]the next scene showed don asleep and ding ding's parents in his house,looking for ding ding.then they searched everywhere.ended up,ding ding was in school(she was in a drama school).don found ding ding in the school canteen but she was holding a mask,therefore hiding her face.she explained how he went missing after he had gone for the ice.she searched for him everywhere and fell down a hill.but that din't stop her from searching.but she assured don that she was fine.the real story was,don had lost his memory when the ice in the cooler had melted with the rain.he went home after he woke up.don snatched the mask away from ding ding.she had scratches all over her face because of the fall down the hill.don took out a notebook,because he had lost the previous one.he began to write down about what ding ding was saying:her name,where she was born,what age she joined the drama school,her birthday.she said about how the best birthday was when she celebrated with don.all this time,don looked really sad.thirteen days later,ding ding had a date with don.at the table,don was locked in an embrace with a woman.i know that look of hurt in ding ding's eyes,very familiar.anyway,ding ding thought that it was the cause of a memory loss until don told her to forget the past.the girl in his arms is his gf,not ding ding.ding ding was hurt and pulled don to the place where the 'gone with the wind' poster was.but the wind blew the poster away and she desperately tried to chase after the poster.the next scene showed don sitting at home alone,thinking.then ding ding appeared at his window,holding up the poster.she said that she knew that he liked he and that the girl earlier wasn't his gf.she ran to his front door,don met her there.he took the poster from her and tore it to pieces.from then on,ding ding never came to visit don.don became lonely and he drowned his sorrow with beer.he regretted hurting ding ding.so then he heard that ding ding was leaving the country,hong kong,and he just broke down and down.saying sorry over and over again to nobody in particular but obviously to ding ding.then suddenly ding ding appeared and was just cheerful.he ran away from her,into the house.outside the hose,ding ding went to drown herself in a huge tub of water,just to get don outta the house.don saves her.they were about to kiss when don's red level thing rose and he faints.he ended up in the hospital.day and night,ding ding stayed by his side.for seven days,don slept.ding ding took care of his house though.she cleaned his room everyday before going to the hospital to visit him.one day,she was looking through his drawers and came across his notebook about her.inside was kinda like his diary.it started with how he was heartbroken when he saw ding ding's scratched face.then it continued to how ding ding's parents had begged him to break up with ding ding because his frequent memory loss would only end up hurting her.so he resolved to break ding ding's heart to save her,and himself.the diary continued to how he took that girl to pretend to be his girlfriend.how ding ding wore the maternity dress that he had bought for her for that date,how he watched ding ding chase after their love trademark poster when the wind blew it away.how it broke his heart into pieces when he tore the poster right in front of ding ding's eyes.how when ding ding left after that,he tried to mend the poster. as ding ding read the lil notebook,she cried and cried and cried.she searched the whole house down for the mended poster.when she found it she cried even more.she then told dr.chie her decision to leave don forever.the only way for don to get better was to not be in love.with her.so like,she took down all the pictures of her in don's room,the poster and whatever.the notebook all.and she left.but before she left,don woke up.she disguised herself as a disfigured nurse so that she could take one last look at don before she went.so for weeks and months,don walked around the city,eating ding ding's jasmine cookies[but they were not baked by her], haunted with memories that were there but can never remember.[his mind can't remember,but his heart remembers]this part all very sad cus you can feel how much he wants the truth to come out.cus dr.chie wouldn't tell him about ding ding cus ding ding didn't want don to remember her at all.so one day,don was entering his bakery shop when he smelled ding ding's smell.i don't know how that was possible at all but he just did.he rushed to the kitchen.he realised that all along the person he was searching for had been so close to him.the jasmine cookies didn't have any scent because SHE was baking them.and there she was.her back was facing him but there was no doubt about it.it was ding ding.don hugged her from behind and before he knew what happened,the woman screamed and slapped don in the face.it wasn't ding ding.she screamed,'i quit!' and ran out.in the process of pushing don aside,his notebook fell to the floor but he didn't know cus he also ran out,clearly disappointed.a hand picked up the book.the hand belonged to ding ding.she read the entries in the book.it stated how miserable don felt when he couldn't find what his heart was missing ever since waking up from his 7-days slumber.she slumped down against a work table and cried,her head bent over her knees.unknown to her,a pair of feet had appeared at her side.she looked up and saw don.she stood up to run away but don caught her.then he kissed her.and nothing happened.he didn't lose his memory.ding ding was surprised and was so happy when she realised that he was cured.guess that's the end.
well,love is really an illness i guess.or a disease.hais.