man.i do not deserve this.after all i've been through.
i really do not deserve this.i've been hanging on for so long.
the tears,the pain,the sadness.
and he really doesn't care at all.
after what happened last tuesday,he acts like nothing happened.
and i had this big emotional breakdown today.
i couldn't take it anymore.
i've been trying to hold back the tears but i just suddenly couldn't take it.
and i let the tears flow.
even though before that,i vent my anger and frustration on a soccer ball.
with natasha.though she didn't know it.
taking out my anger on a ball wasn't enough.
i still had a breakdown later.
and it was so bad.my heart felt like it was being ripped apart.
and the stupid cramps made it worst.
do i deserve this?
seriously.do i?
after trying to be strong for him.
and then being treated like this.like bullshit.
this is crazy.
i really can't take it anymore.
wish i cried in front of him instead.
wish i vented my anger on him instead.
